Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
