I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I need to calm my uterus...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
