how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
