So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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