apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
