marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
