SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Life is so much better after having sex.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize