Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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