what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
