he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
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