I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
