I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
