If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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