its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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