just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
