I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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