Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
