So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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