Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
