you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
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