Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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