its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
