I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Dear god my vagina.
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