Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
