im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
