On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
