hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
now i know why i became what i already was.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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