I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
