listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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