This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
