I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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