I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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