Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
