You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
