Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i just google imaged poop.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
