I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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