We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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