I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
