This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize