My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
