She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
