I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I need moral support for this bender
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
