So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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