he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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