Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
