After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize