So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
