i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
