The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
