kristin has been a bad kristin
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
