i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
