Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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