office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
