She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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