i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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