I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
