The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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