when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
