can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
