At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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